


Beating of our Hearts

by GlitterFairy_21225



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves is Alive, But he could be worse!, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good Brother Klaus Hargreeves, Luther is kinda a dick, No Incest, Non-Linear Narrative, Protective Ben Hargreeves, Protective Siblings, Sibling Bonding, Time Skips, for half the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 08:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18891136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterFairy_21225/pseuds/GlitterFairy_21225
Summary: For a second, he's confused. Why wouldn't he cling to his best friend after more than a decade of not touching anything at all?And then he remembers; 'Oh, yeah, we weren't always this close.'ORBen is absolutely NOT going to throw away a decade's worth of bonding with his brother just because of a tiny thing like 'Other people seeing him now.'ORA nonlinear, patterned tale consisting of Ben relearning to be around his non-medium siblings again after coming back to life as kids, as well as how Ben and Klaus came to become true brothers following his death.





	Beating of our Hearts

2002

Ben doesn't realize right away that he had come back to life.

Between his sister blowing up the moon, releasing the Horrors for the first time in a decade, and Five sending the entire family back to their thirteen year old bodies, he had to take a minute to process.

They land in the Icarus theater, prepubescent and completely unsure of what to do. They were all thirteen years old. Huh.

Then he realizes his chest hurt.

It's a weird thumping feeling that beats lightly, emphasis on lightly, and yet he's so unused to it, despite it having an odd nostalgic quality to it, that it irritates him.

And then it clicks. His heart is beating. He hitches a breath. With wide eyes he stares at Klaus, who was more concerned with Vanya, and gasps because his hand was on Klaus's wrist.

With a strangled cry he swings Klaus around by the arm and throws his arms around his neck. He buries his nose in his brother's shoulder and his newly-active heart jumps when he gets a whiff off his shoulder; lemons and grilled cheese.

It was so distinctly random and yet randomness was so Klaus. Though, Ben doubts he kept that scent after years on the streets, taking in so much drugs and sex daily. Not that he would know what that smells like, being dead and all. His other siblings gasp and Klaus's forearms rise under Ben's armpits and freeze before coming up to return the hug.

His eyes water and due to years of inexperience, he can't hold them back. His very tangible tears drip onto Klaus's back as his brother's grip on him tightens.

"You're breathing." Klaus whispers in his ear and raises a hand to his neck to feel Ben's pulse for himself.

The others join the hug at some point, but Ben can only cling to Klaus to keep his heart from racing as the sudden touches from years of intangibility overwhelm him. He only keeps from breaking down completely by focusing on the beautiful thought that he could punch and hug Klaus a million times from here on out.

Ben came back to life. His heart was beating. Ben came back to life. How bout that.

Due to his ever so studious mind, he can't help but wonder just when they are. If they've gone back to the early 2000s, that would mean they would have to deal with Dad again, but if they're at another time, just as kids, then they'd have to deal with the constraints of being kids with no one to help them, and maybe even their past selves. Oh, God. What if Klaus has to go back to the Mausoleum? What if this means Klaus never met Dave? What about Allison's kid? How will they avoid the Commission?

But, if years of being with Klaus of taught him anything, it's best to just live in the good moments when they come and not dread when they end, so for now Ben just wants to feel his heart beating, undeniable proof that he was alive again.

For not the first time, Ben was really, really glad that he crossed the veil.

 

XXX

 

2007

He's been dead for ten months. It sucks.

For the typical reasons. Of course, he misses his family. Not even Five was there. He wants so badly to be with them again, even if they drove each other insane, he'd rather lose his mind from being pissed off than lose it out of loneliness.

But it's also really boring. Like, really boring.

To elaborate, Ben Hargreeves lived his eighteen years on planet earth stuck in a mansion, with six other kids, a chimpanzee, a robot mother, and an experimenter. Being as obedient as he could. So Ben didn't have friends or anything who died that he could just talk to in Heaven. Not even Five, which he refuses to not be happy about. Nor does he know how to make friends with the other dead people.

He doesn't know what to do with himself. No one to talk to. Nothing to do while he waits for his family to die. Which is a horrible, horrible example of anticipation.

And yeah, Ben is pissed. He spent the years he was alive doing whatever Dad ordered him to do, regardless of whether or not it was what he wanted. But now Ben was dead and it was too late. He'll never grow up, never get a girlfriend, never have a tiny gremlin, never get a job, never voice all the angry thoughts he swallowed over the years.

Ben can't go on like this. He needs to do something, talk to someone. So he does something so stupid and visits the veil. And the moment he crosses the barrier line, his body is the same horrible, bloody mess he was when he died. He takes a deep breath despite not needing to breathe and approaches the almighty veil with caution.

"You know most people get their process done by one of my son's subordinates, but if you plan to talk to who I think you want to talk to, I figured I can take time off my busy schedule." A voice startles him, he turns around to find a bored little girl sitting on a bike staring at him.

"Uh, what-"

"You need to know the warnings before you go, it's law." She rolls her eyes and dismounts from her bike. "My law. And I have laws for ghosts too. Okay?"

"Okay?" He repeats.

"Rule #1. The golden rule." She points at him to make a point. "You can return to paradise through the veil at any time. But! If you lose your humanity as a ghost, you can't get back into Heaven. Either stay a ghost forever, or spend forever in purgatory."

"Lose my humanity?" Ben asks.

"Uh, yeah." The girl looks at him in annoyance. "Oh, right, you never asked why your brother did the things he did. Did you? Rule #2! I must tell you, that you are being very stupid!"

"Pardon?"

"I'll be fair, you're smarter than most ghosts. You're all the same, one way or another, completely dissatisfied with what little life they managed to live. All hoping that if they just go back to the mortals, they might have a chance at having what they thought they could have 'One day'. Problem is Rule #3, and yes Rule #2 was absolutely just 'You are an Idiot,' but you really oughta listen to this. NOBODY CAN SEE YOU!!!!!! The majority comes back within a week with even worse broken hearts. The rest is stubborn enough to stick around and maybe torment your brother. You, however do have someone to talk to, so I suppose that'll keep you sane for awhile. Although, I watch him sometimes, I can't imagine that being unable to talk to anyone except him will keep your sanity high."

"You watch my brother?" Is Ben's takeaway.

"He's my little doorway! I gotta check up on him!" She barks angrily.

Ben doesn't know how to react to that. So he just blinks and asks weakly. "Rule #4?"

"You can sit on chairs and lean on walls but you can also walk through walls. And chairs." And with that she walks back to her bike. Ben blinks again.

"That's it?"

"Yup."

"..... Okay. Hey! When I cross, am I gonna keep all this...." Ben gestures to his bloody torso. "Or can you just undo it?"

"Oh, goodie! You're one of the smart ones. Your brother would not appreciate that." She waves her finger around his bloody mess of a body before snapping.

His body restored, Ben walks through the veil.

 

XXX

 

After they sneak back into the mansion in the dead of night and place Vanya safely back in her room, Ben doesn't feel like taking into account the strange looks his siblings give them when loud, crazy Klaus holds Ben's hand the entire trip and doesn't let go when they gather in Five's room for a family meeting.

He's just so surprised every time his heart thumps, he barely registers the slight questioning look his family gives them when they sit together on the floor, joined by the hip. But he does loosely recognize the puzzle pieces forming in Five's head from a million years ago when Ben would be his little assistant while Five came up with equations and concoctions that would eventually get their brother lost in the post-apocalypse, all alone. Still, it brings a wave of nostalgia. He doesn't question why Five is thinking so hard, they've got a lot to figure out, though he wonders why those calculating eyes train on him.

"Ben, how long have you been.... haunting.... Klaus?"

His eyebrows wrinkle. "Oh, years. My only other option for conversations was one-sided chats with our siblings, who get into weird shit when they think their alone. Not that Klaus does normal shit when he knows he not alone, but in a weird way, it was preferable. Oh but your oil painting made for excellent book discussions."

They all share looks, and Luther looks like he's about to say something when Five brushes them off. "Yeah, okay, now back to stopping the apocalypse!"

The meeting goes on, Klaus and Ben don't participate, seeing as nobody would appreciate Klaus's input in times of crisis anyway, other then Diego's gratitude for the guaranteed support should he break into another fight, and Ben was so unused to his opinion being heard, sometimes he didn't form one at all.

The night drags on, and the long night catches up to them. Seriously, just when it got dark out, they were called in on Vanya in a cage, having powers, and it snowballed into Pogo and Mom dying, the house getting destroyed, a bowling alley shooting, and of course the end of the world, and now they were infants again. And finally, Klaus calls it a night and goes to sleep, resting his head on Ben's shoulder as he drifts to sleep.

Luther and Five look at Klaus with disdain and roll their eyes, but Allison and Diego look almost fond, perhaps remembering the boy who used to fall asleep on their shoulders.

"It's really late," Allison says. "Maybe we should call it a night and continue this tomorrow."

Five huffs and rolls his eyes, but shoves (non-gorilla-bodied) Luther off his bed anyway.

Luther and Allison quickly retreat to their rooms, and Ben coaxes Klaus off his shoulder and walks him to his room. At Klaus's doorway, he catches Luther staring at them, frowning hard.

For a second, he's confused. Why wouldn't he cling to his best friend after more than a decade of not touching anything at all?

And then he remembers; 'Oh, yeah, we weren't always this close.'

 

XXX

 

Ben appreciates that weird little girl's concern, but he doesn't think he needs it. He grew up with a medium brother, he already knows that no one would be able to see him.

Well, everyone except his medium brother.

He finds Klaus in a crappy motel somewhere downtown. He watches from the doorway as Klaus blasts some pop song on the radio and bounces on his bed, before hopping off and play-swiping blush on his cheeks, all the while mouthing the lyrics, then turns to flounce over to the motel's body mirror and dances to his reflection for a quick second before turning off his radio and immediately straightening and turning around.

"Hi." Ben says and Klaus bursts into tears.

"Well, this should be fun."

 

XXX

 

It's Vanya's first training session and Klaus is three minutes late.

"We should just start without him." Diego grumbles.

"He's coming!" Ben snaps.

"So, you've been hanging around Klaus for....?" Luther drifts off questioningly.

"Months after I died."

"Wow, over a decade of Klaus." Diego looks sympathetic. Ben laughs slightly, knowing better than to doubt that Diego cares.

"It's just-" Luther says, "if he's been seeing you, why has he never said anything? Other than.... when he said something."

"Oh, well when I appeared to him, he wasn't really talking to any of you." Ben explains. "The only times he really had the chance was whenever Diego showed up at a drug bust. He did let it slip that he saw me once or twice but he was so high. Oh, he could see me when he was high, so. Not sure why, Klaus thinks it's the power of love, I just think he liked having me around."

"Wait, you were-"

"Always." Ben half-smiles. "And also, that girl from police school? Way out of your league." He adds, just because he can.

"She most definitely is. Shit. I c-could've been talking to y-you! I co-could've t-to-old you all-" He stutters.

"I know, Diego, I know everything." They stare at each other for a moment.

"Those weren't the only times Klaus could've said anything!" Luther shouts, ruining the moment.

"He was always so high no one would believe him." Ben defends.

"Great, so we spent a decade without our brother, while he dragged you to raves and-"

"He's getting sober, Luther, and he's going to need support." Ben interjects. "Besides I seem to recall you being extremely fond of raves when-"

"You know you can talk to other people now, he's not your obligation anymore!" Luther bursts.

"Obligation?" Ben repeated. Both Five and Allison give Number One looks as if to say, 'Seriously?' in their own special ways.

"Ben-"

"I have spent years seeing the world from his perspective and it sucked. All he'll ever be to you is an obligation won't he?" He shook his head. "I'm not his keeper, I'm his brother."

"We're all brothers but since we've come back, it's like you're a different person!"

"Of course I am! You're different too! And so are they! Everyone is different! I may have been dead the past decade but I still changed! I know you didn't know, but can you at least try to understand that!?"

"Okay, but you changed because you were isolated from everyone but Klaus! Clinging to him like you do, it's not healthy! You don't need to hover over his shoulders anymore! We all traveled back to help!"

"Oh, because when he needs help, you would try so hard to be there for him?" Ben asked bitterly. "You wouldn't just brush him off, say 'It's Klaus, What can you do?' and run off to do whatever will make you feel better? Because I was there for everything. And I saw half the shit you did and from where I stood, you did not look like the hero."

Luther looked taken aback, speechless. And Ben thinks, 'Good,' because he told Klaus that Luther would do anything if he was in danger and yet the latter still left the former dead on the dance floor. And no matter what Klaus said, losing virginity does not make that okay. Does not make the fact that Luther cared more about getting sex with a furry-lover than his own dead brother's attempts to salvage him, okay. Does not make the fact that at some point this family became too high, too ordinary, too dead for their sworn protectors, okay.

But Ben glares into Luther's wide eyes and hates himself because he knows. He knows how badly his death affected his brother. He knows that Luther was as protective over him as Diego is of Klaus, or even Allison over Vanya. He knows how much Luther loved to be thought of as a hero by Ben. He knows how overjoyed Luther must be to have a second chance to stop his death. How hard Luther tried to be stronger, better after his death. How badly his brother blamed himself. And he almost softens.

But Klaus chooses that moment to walk in. And when he ignores their sibling's annoyed glares and gives Ben the most grateful smile, he knows he'd done the right thing.

 

XXX

 

He's been staying with Klaus for a week and they can barely get through a conversation.

A part of Ben thinks to himself; _”This was a mistake. I'm only hurting us both more and more.”_

He can tell Klaus doesn’t want him here, he just doesn’t wanna tell his dead brother’s ghost he wants him to leave. Which Ben is perfectly fine with, because he doesn’t want to be here. When he crossed, he wanted a friend, not to be his brother’s keeper.

As Klaus sleeps, he tries to think of how to tell his brother that he's going leave him again when;

"No!" Klaus moans as sleeps in a crappy motel he broke into. "No please, stop! Get away!"

"...... Klaus?" Ben walks towards the sleeping figure cautiously.

"Let me out!"

"From where?" He whispers.

"Please, Dad, let me out!" Klaus twists and turns as Ben freezes.

"Klaus?! Klaus! KLAUS!"

Klaus wakes up with gasp, and sits up on the bed.

"It's none of your business!" Klaus says venomously.

"Klaus-"

"STOP! Saying.... M-my name..." He curls into himself. "Ju-just please, I-I don't like talking about it."

Ben sighs. He wants to make this better, he does.... he just doesn't know how.

He's silent when Klaus reaches over to his coat resting on the bedside table and dry swallows three pills before laying back down and wordlessly closes his eyes.

"It was special training. Mausoleum. I don't need a sibling to understand."

"Klaus...."

"Don't say my name!"

"Okay." Okay, Ben thinks, maybe he should stay around for awhile.

The following night, Klaus instead camps out on top of the roof of an abandoned building and doesn't cry when Ben approaches him. He just keeps looking at the stars. Ben watches with him. They don't talk, just gaze at the beautiful night sky. It's a good moment, one that Ben dreads ending as Klaus drifts off to sleep.

 

XXX

 

The mission was simple. Relive puberty. Become a real family. Make sure no one ends the world. Sounds easy. In a way, it's a chance to completely redo their worst mistakes. It goes without saying that the first thing that comes to everyone's mind is Ben and Vanya.

But, Ben and Vanya aren't the only ones who get a do-over now that they're kids again. Luther is no longer part ape, Diego looses his wicked scar, Klaus's system hasn't ingested the majority of drugs, Five gets to grow up with his family (kinda), and Allison can speak again.

Problem is, even if the worst of them haven't happened in the timeline, it still happened to them. Vanya still destroyed the world, Klaus was still a former addict, and Five was still an old man.

And Ben still spent eleven years with a man who actively encouraged him to express himself, and yet he couldn't feel less free to voice all the angry thoughts he swallowed over the years among his family. And he can tell by the way Luther bristles, and Diego and Allison share looks of disbelief whenever he speaks his mind, his now-automatic wit isn't exactly welcome.

But yeah, no; Family Forever! The Hargreeves family motto. Just like that Umbrella Academy lunch box says.

Back when they were actually children, while their father they were more classmates instead of siblings. Klaus was the class clown, Luther was the star football player, Five was class president, Allison was the Queen Bee, Ben was the shy bookworm, Diego was the rebellious troublemaker, and Vanya was an invisible member of the school band.

They basically have to take the Breakfast Club and clump and force and grind them all together until they become the Brady Bunch.

Sixth course of action, make sure Luther doesn't Luther shit up again.

Surprisingly, it's Klaus who strikes a deal. Allison can use his soundproof room to scream all the things she couldn't in that frustrating night before the world ended. At Luther. All without having to worry about Pogo, Mom, or worse, Dad, hearing her. Klaus (and by an implied extension, Ben) get to watch.

It was awesome.

 

XXX

 

Hanging around Klaus got really weird the first year.

Well, it never got normal, but Ben did get used to it. The first year was a slew of surprises and planting the seeds of their future routines.

It wasn't like they never hung out when Ben was alive. They got along as much well as their contrasting personalities allowed. But they simply existed on different sides of the spectrum. While Ben is soft and gentle and would rather read quietly with Five or listen Vanya play violin, Klaus is loud and excitable, preferring to adventure with Diego or have a _loud_ karaoke session with Allison. Still, Ben loves his brother as much as the next guy. And who wouldn't when Klaus is always so kind and happy?

But Klaus is also impossible. He says freakishly inappropriate things at serious times, whines about ghosts even though you'd think he'd get used to it, (like Ben got used to the Horrors before they mercilessly ripped him apart), and willingly wastes his life on drugs and alcohol no matter how hard his siblings tried to help.

At first, Ben's not sure how long he can handle this. Handle days upon days of Klaus getting high and being Klaus without Diego there to reduce Klaus's antics, or Luther there to shake his head and roll his eyes with him.

Still, as the first year drags on, Ben finds something shifts somewhere. He first realizes it on New Years Eve. In the later years, Klaus would admit that he figured Ben had wanted to spend the holidays with someone, and so turned down a New Years one night stand.

And so, while Allison Rumors her way into a giant Hollywood pool party for New Years Eve, and Diego has his first kiss with a cute girl from police academy, way out of his league (Ben checks up on them), Klaus watches the ball drop from a bunny ears TV in a tattoo parlor.

"This is a stupid idea, you're gonna regret it, and I'm gonna laugh at you." Ben says.

"No, no, it's amazing, look." Klaus makes hands. "Hello 2008. Goodbye not 2008." He hops on his feet, wiggling his fingers.

Ben laughs. And that's when he notices that at some point Klaus's annoying, inappropriate, stupid antics actually became kinda, really funny.

 

XXX

 

As much as they hated to admit it, their father didn't make them exclude Vanya. Yes, he kept Vanya from the team and made them forget her powers, but he never made them ignore her. He just never made them play with her. He cared as little for Vanya's relationships as he did with all the others. And while they obviously didn't turn out okay, they still have nice memories of playing together. It was their own faults that they didn't include Vanya.

Maybe that was why he doesn't blink an eye when Allison would wrap her arm around Vanya protectively and yet glare at Luther for five months before finally warming up to him again.

Or that Vanya now joins Klaus and Allison when they have makeup sessions.

Or when Klaus and Ben are suddenly joined at the hip, to the point that Ben sometimes has to grab Klaus's hand under the dining table just to remind himself of his own life at all times.

Or when Luther looks oh so uncomfortable with everyone in the family, except for shockingly, Five and Diego, the two he was the most at odds with at this time, as Allison won’t let Vanya anywhere near him, and Ben won’t let Klaus anywhere near him.

And never considers it weird the first time the gang happily greets Vanya the second they return from a mission.

Pogo and Mom just smile, and don't question it, as always. They're just so glad that the kids are bonding and becoming 'stable young men and women'. They do not say that they're also becoming a real family, and that this is despite their horrid upbringing by Reginald Hargreeves. It's implied.

It's their second time turning fourteen, and as with every year, they get the day off.

They sneak out to buy each other presents, even for Luther, they give the first cake slice to Vanya, and dance to Tiffany flowing from Luther's door in Allison's room (excluding Five and Diego, though Klaus and Ben both know the latter's jamming by himself).

As night comes, they collapse in his bed and Ben whispers in Klaus's ear. "I can't believe that I've known you for thirty years and it took me twenty to realize you were my favorite person in the world."

 

XXX

 

"If you had one chance to use Allison's power, just once, who would you do Rumor?" Ben asks randomly, because he's bored.

"Good question....." Klaus takes a puff. "One person or an entire crowd, like the Milwaukee incident of 2004?"

"One person."

"Okay, uh.... do I have a time limit?"

"A time limit?"

"Like.... can I do shit to prepare?"

"Prepare to Rumor someone?"

"Like, can I do research and shit!"

"Fine, you can have five years, weirdo."

"Okay, I spend four and a half years trying to figure out who is the single most powerful person in the world, and then I make him or her my bitch."

"Lovely."

"Okay, if you had-" Klaus hesitates, looking momentarily nervous. "Five's power for just one jump, where would you go?"

Ben thinks for a second. "Can I have a second jump to return?"

Klaus beams. "No, but you get five years to make travel arrangements."

"Okay, then," Ben ponders. "I will... Oh! When we were kids and would visit that donut shop, Luther would take me to the library across the street. I'd've gone by myself, but he always insisted on coming with, said that it was a buddy system." He smiles fondly.

"You would jump to the library across from Griddy's?"

"Yeah."

"You know, when I say you can use Five's power, I mean in a broad sense?" Klaus takes another smoke. "You could jump anywhere in the world."

"That's okay, I miss the library."

"You could say Egypt or Paris...."

"Nah, library."

"A library?"

"Like you wouldn't just teleport to a bar or something?"

"For the last time, I don't walk into bars, Benny. Bars walk into me!" He gestures to himself.

"You're unbelievable."

"You know I can just catch a bus and you can visit that library right now?"

"Will you?" Something on Ben's face makes Klaus pull out a bus pass from a filthy sock and drive across town.

 

XXX

 

They're in the past a year and four months before Klaus lets a dead guy joke slip.

"Benny!" Klaus squeaks when he plops down next to him on the couch on family movie night, popcorn in hand. "You very, nearly scared me to death!" He fake gasps.

"Low blow, brother." Ben chuckles when a sharp gasp draws their attention.

Allison looks absolutely scandalized, Diego and Five glare at Klaus murderously, Vanya's eyes are wide, and Luther opens his mouth but no words come out.

"What's wrong with the Brady Bunch?" Klaus whispers to him, though he's sure the others can hear him.

"There just overreacting." Ben rolls his eyes. He loved his family but after his death, it was as though he gained a sacred temple in their heart. Over the years, they learned to worship his memory.”

"How can you say that?!" Luther demands. "He died! That's nothing to joke about! I-it's-"

"Oh, calm down." Ben snaps, knowing he'd have to make his point as quickly as possible to save Klaus from a reunion with their family's disdain. "It's been fifteen years and I'm not even dead anymore, get over it."

"Ben-" Luther breathes, before he straightens and turns to threaten Klaus. "If you-"

"Sit. Down." Ben commands.

Luther begrudgingly obeys, and doesn't stop glaring daggers at Klaus until twenty minutes through.

Ben shakes his head to make sure Klaus knows, it's okay. His brother sticks his tongue out at him, but he knows deep down, Klaus wasn't happy about riling his family's anger.

Halfway through the movie, Klaus whispers low enough that only Ben can hear him. "I'm so glad I didn't tell you to drop dead."

"You'd of died in seconds."

And they both snort, earning harsh hushes from both Luther and Five.

 

XXX

 

They are in a rehab center and it's Thanksgiving. Yeeessss.

"You know, statistics show that it's easier to overcome addiction if you have someone to get better for." A well-meaning, but annoying nurse says and Ben stands up and does a twirl as if to say, 'Uh, right here!'

"Well..." Klaus sits up, "There is my boy, Benny, oh, Benny! But he-he-" He begins to tear up and gasps over-dramatically. "He died years ago, and I know he's here with me in spirit, but still, I-I-I...."

Ben bursts out laughing. The nurse apologizes a million times.

"But seriously, you should call someone."

"You're supposed to be on my side!" Klaus whines.

"It's Thanksgiving! I would be so grateful if I could just hear from one of my other beloved siblings. Just this one time?" Ben begs, and he knows that Klaus would do anything for him, even spend thirty days in rehab. Anything but stay clean.

His brother takes a deep breath and slowly presses his fingers to the keypad. Ben can feel dread radiating out of him.

"I'm busy!" He hears Diego bark over the phone. "I can't afford to pay for your addiction! Don't call again unless you actually want to act like grown up."

Klaus slams the phone on the receiver before Diego can and wordlessly stalks to food court.

Ben follows him and Klaus automatically scoots the chair next to him out from under the table, and he immediately sits in it.

"Diego didn't mean-" Ben starts.

"No, no he has a real l-" Klaus cuts himself off. "Forget about him. I don't need Diego, I have you. That's more than I ever expected from life."

 

XXX

 

Ben was not ashamed to admit that he kinda, sorta, absolutely clung to Klaus, and vice versa. After all, he had to make sure that Klaus knew that the past decade or so was not going to be thrown out the window just because Ben could now talk to other people. So they stuck with each other mostly. Klaus would annoy him in the library across Griddy's, and Ben would have a hell of a lot of heart-racing fun sneaking out of the academy with Klaus and Diego.

But he was not going to get a mani-pedi.

So, whenever Allison insists that she and Klaus give Vanya one of their legendary Girl's Nights, Ben doesn't hesitate to just quietly find somewhere else and silently read and exist.

He's about to go to the library when he catches Five on the couch in the lounge, also reading heavily. He hesitates for a short moment, before sitting on the opposite couch. Five looks up and they make eye contact, before he returns to his book. Ben swears he sees a crack of a smile on that grumpy old man's face.

 

XXX

 

Nobody's coming. Klaus knows it, Ben knows it, the psychopaths know it, Zoya Popova knows it.

"I can't believe that in six months I'll have known you for thirty years and it took me twenty to realize you were my favorite person in the world." Klaus said loopy and completely out of it, for once not the fault of drugs.

In the darkness of the cruel closet, Ben smiles down at his loud, crazy Klaus. In five minutes, Klaus will go back to the Mausoleum and Ben will have to say his name to draw him out of it. In an hour or so, those lunatics will burst in and the torture will continue, with him unable to hurt them or free him. In three hours, a girl way out of Diego's league will burst in, save the day, and take a bullet for her troubles.

But at the time, despite the hours of torture, unending withdrawal, and unstoppable dread of what would come next, Klaus and Ben somehow managed to have a good moment. And there was no point wasting it when they both knew that good moments tend to end all to quickly.

 

XXX

 

Ben, as always, went up to Klaus's room after training with Vanya. Only this time he found it empty. He looks around for a moment before shrugging and turning to see if his brother is in his room when he hears his brother's voice from further down the hallway.

"Wait, you would rather talk to the ghost of Peggy Schuyler over either Eliza or Angelica?"

"I feel as though I can identify with her."

He finds him in Luther's room. With Luther.

"Klaus!" Ben says surprised. "What are-?"

He cuts himself off when he sees the look on his brother's face. "What did you do!?"

"What?" Luther looks confused.

"Okay," Klaus smiles innocently. "During Girl's Night, Ally mentioned how much Luther missed you, Ben, so-"

"No."

Luther looks gobsmacked by all this.

"You need to talk to each other!" Klaus insists.

"Klaus," Ben says firmly. "No."

But, Klaus knows Ben would do anything for him, and so they sit awkwardly and don't say much. Klaus sighs and starts the conversation. "Okay, I think I know a good place to trace your problems to. The rave! Yay!" He says in a soft voice, as though he was talking to kindergarteners.

"The rave?" Luther asks hesitantly.

"The one where you popped ya cherry, Big Guy." Klaus smirks. "Now as you recall, the following day, I told you about the conversation I had with Dad-a-roo. But I didn't tell you everything." Ben glares at Luther. "You see, I didn't summon Dad, per say..."

Luther wrinkled his eyebrows but chose his words carefully under Ben's angry look. "But... Dad did.... you know..."

"Oh, we did talk, he just wasn't a ghost." Klaus chuckles slightly.

Luther looks so lost, it was kinda adorable.

"You see, I... went to the afterlife world." He says awkwardly, before seeming to find a better way to phrase it. "Beyond the veil."

"Beyond the-"

"Klaus died at that rave." Ben supplies. Klaus sighs but still nods in agreement.

Luther blinks. “What?” He says flatly.

“When you slept with that girl, her boyfriend was angry and tried to pick a fight.” Ben grits his teeth. “And like an idiot I told Klaus to stop him and he killed our brother! Not that you noticed.”

Klaus sighs. “While, that is true.... you were going through such a hard time! I mean, you spent so long having no one! I mean even on the worst of days, I always had Ben, you-“

“Klaus, I am so sorry.” Luther trembles out.

He blinks. “.... It’s okay Big Chungus, I never blamed you.”

That was exactly true to Ben’s memory. As he recalls, Klaus just didn’t expect any better.

“I’m still, so sorry.” Luther says, and Klaus smiles at him. And something on Klaus’s grin makes Ben snap.

“That’s not all! Since we’ve gone back in time, it’s like I’m noticing more and more what a colossal dick you are!” Ben rests his head in his hands. “Like how you keep giving us nasty looks when we try to exist outside our rooms!”

Luther looks down in shame and doesn’t respond, but Klaus does for him.

“Oh my God, he’s jelly, Benny!” Klaus rolls his eyes and throws up his hands. “He misses you! I mean think about from his eyeballs! Your brother you were uber close to, literally comes back to life and attaches himself to the junkie. Don’t get all overprotective! You know it’s true!” He says when Ben automatically opens his mouth for defense. “He doesn’t understand, but we went to the past to get better, so he got better.” Klaus hesitates. “But, Ben, we need to get better.” He bites his lip as if waiting from an atom bomb to drop.

Ben is confused at first, but then he dwells over these words, over the past year. After all those years by Klaus’s side, he’d forgotten how much he missed his family. A family who learned to worship his memory like a sacred temple in their hearts, but missed him so much. The family he had at one point wanted so badly to be with. And yet he didn’t even know how to be with them now that he could. Wouldn’t even try.

Okay, maybe it was a stretch to say he was the put together member of their dysfunctional little Brady Bunch. And though he’ll never forgive Luther or himself for what happened at that stupid rave, something in him softens.

“Ben, I-“ Luther starts.

“We’re brothers.” Ben says finally. “If we stopped being brothers with anyone who’s a selfish ass, we’d all be only children.“

No more words are said between them as they make eye contact and silently communicate that, yes, they’ll work on it. Work on them

"YAY!" Klaus jumps from behind the counter where he had apparently retreated when they weren't looking to surprise them. "You made up! I fixed this! Whoo! We should celebrate!" And with that he skips, yes skips, to the stairs before ball-changing and gesturing for his brother’s to follow him in his own, over-the-top way.

"His antics are kinda, really funny, aren't they?" Luther murmurs to him so Klaus won't hear him.

"Oh, you've got no idea." Ben bristles.

 

XXX

 

2019

There was once a point in his afterlife, an hour ago to be exact, that Ben was under the impression that the worst time-frame he'd ever gave to endure was the ten hours where Klaus disappeared into thin air and he had no idea what had happened. And once again, their brothers and sisters didn't care that their brother was missing whatsoever. And in that time his brother fought in a war, Vietnam, and saw his first true love bleed out in his arms. So yeah, Ben was kinda under the impression that that was as bad as waiting for something you don't know you're waiting for goes.

Then Ben endures something somehow worse.

It starts when he begs his brother, his best friend, to look after Luther. He knows it won't take much convincing, maybe a speech if Klaus gets to unruly, but Ben knows his big heart won't let him abandon Luther the way they abandoned him.

"But if you were in trouble, there is nothing in this world Luther wouldn't do to save your scrawny little junkie ass." He says, mostly to rile Klaus up. He doesn't like saying things about his brother that he used to mutter behind his back, especially to his face. But Klaus knows not to take it personal when Ben calls him out for his life choices. Though, he does it often he

Klaus just decided to get clean, Ben was not about to let another brother fall down that rabbit hole.

Then he orders Klaus to go after a jealous drunk and he literally dies.

Time stops as Ben stares blankly at his brother's open eyes as blood pools underneath his head. He just stares, waiting for him to get back up again. In the back of his head, he knew that what he was waiting for would never come. Bu-bu- That can't be it! That's such a lame way to die, he- Ben- this asshole-

H-he's alone? His brother is dead? This asshole survives a childhood of torture, over a decade of drowning himself in drugs, and the Vietnam War, only to die like this?

And then Klaus literally comes back from the dead.

"He left you to die!" He screams as Klaus hails a taxi. That just happened, he just gave his brother an order that killed him. H-he needs to take his anger out on someone.

"So? He didn't kill me himself, did he?" Klaus scoffs, frustrating him. God, what Ben wouldn’t give to punch and hug him to death right now. "Besides, he was high."

"You've been high since you were thirteen, you would never do that!" Ben protests. "He left you dead, Klaus, how could he do that?"

Klaus gives a driver money from a wallet he stole and their address before gesturing for the man to wait as he walks to the back door, back to the side window.

"He was distracted." Klaus supplies. "I'm not saying it was right, but drugs aren't exactly known for making you a better brother."

"Klaus!" Ben growls. "Luther- he didn't do anything! It's not something to brush off!" He clams up, because who does that? "How dare he! How dare he?"

"Oh no." Klaus murmurs. "This is it? I was hoping it wouldn't happen for you."

"What are you talking about?" Ben asks.

"Nothing!" Klaus shifts.

"Klaus....." Ben glares.

"Look, I'm not saying he's Satan or anything, though he is, like all of us, his spawn." Klaus clarifies. "I think..... I think you're going through 'baby sibling loss'. Trademark Klaus Hargreeves. Happens to the best of us. It's kinda like disillusionment."

"What?" Ben sighs.

"You're going through what I went through with Diego, and I'm pretty sure Vanya went through it with Allison when we were ten. Suddenly, even though you thought you were always going to be your big sibling's favorite, you find that big bro, or sis, didn't have as strong a protective nature as you thought. And suddenly, your desperate pleas to keep things as they were are just annoying stepping stones in their real life."

Ben opens his mouth, trying to find a response.

"Hey, you coming or not!" The driver calls.

Klaus enters the car with a last look to Ben. Ben looks down as the taxi drives away, and watches as the cab runs over a rusty old Umbrella Academy lunch box with a caption that say, 'Family Forever!'

Klaus limps to their entrance, and manages to slip in the front door before collapsing on the ground leaving Ben to stare at his unconscious body, unable to help him to his bed. He instead ponders his brother's words. He really hopes Klaus keeps his sobriety this time. His brother could be so wise if he wasn't so stupid.

Diego eventually finds Klaus passed out and frantically helps him to his room like the Mother Hen he was when they were kids.

Somewhere along the way, Ben forgot how much his family was once a family. Even though they were born at the exact same time there was a clear eldest to youngest order. No really, the exact same time. To the exact second. But they were still born to at varying milliseconds, which probably wouldn't mean a lot to another family, but meant a lot to them. At least it did. Probably because Dad made their millisecond their names.

But still, they kinda fit their birth order. Vanya was the youngest, the annoying little sister who wasn't allowed to play with them, but was still their baby sister to protect no matter what. Ben was the youngest boy, idolizing his oldest brothers, and naive enough to follow them to end of the earth. Five was the arrogant genius, not in any special birth position, but so talented that he demanded to be considered important. Klaus, the ultimate middle child, the fourth of seven kids, third of five brothers, always included but never a priority. Allison, the eldest girl, the cool big sis, miss popular, basking in the limelight. Diego, the prodigal son, the washed-up second-born, the wannabe who could never be as good as his big brother, who rebelled as a complete result.

Luther was the loyal firstborn and the big brother with a superiority complex, but who was still ever so protective when push comes to shove. Protective of him. Of Allison. Of all of them. Just not when he had shit to deal with, who cares if his junkie brother was risking his new-found sobriety? He could die, Luther needed to get laid.

Wasn't that just the way with siblings? At some point, you stop being good enough for them. Too high, too ordinary, too dead. If Ben had a heart, it would ache, but it doesn't. Because he's dead. His brother is gone, now caring more about getting sex with a furry-lover than his own dead brother's attempts to salvage him.

But that's fine. It's fine. He doesn't need Luther, he has Klaus. It's more than he ever expected from death.

Then Klaus tries to relapse and Ben punches him in the face. Oh, and they're called in on Vanya in a cage because she has powers, Pogo and Mom die, the house is destroyed, a bowling alley shooting, and they're put on look out duty for the end of the world.

His sister blows up the moon, Ben releases the Horrors for the first time in over a decade, and Five sends the entire family back to their thirteen year old bodies. And Ben's heart starts beating again.

 

XXX

 

2007

His death day comes and goes, and Ben fakes a sick day and the siblings go out for celebration waffles on his funeral day.

Ben gets used to his own heartbeat again and slowly, and though it made his heart ache though it was probably a step in healthier, less codependent direction, the boys stopped needing to be at an inch's reach from one another at all times. Klaus's monthly Girl's Nights with Vanya and Allison become weekly, he takes trips with Diego to outside the academy, just the two of them. Ben starts having two-on-two book clubs with Five, and dances with Luther to sixties records they borrow from the worn down library across from Griddy's.

They're still each other's favorites, of course. After all they've been through together, nothing could truly tear them apart forever. It becomes one of those unchangeable, set-in-stone law of the Umbrella Academy that is forever engraved in their hearts. Vanya is the team little sister, Ben will not be dying twice, and Klaus and Ben's bond will never break.

The Umbrella Academy (all it's members) went back in time, had to go through puberty twice, and in the process, Ben got a second chance to be alive.

But then, with time, they finally get Dad to put Vanya in their family pictures. And Diego learns to let his guard down around them so often that at some point he forgets to put it up. And Luther freely shows them his horrible, horrible dance moves. Five munches on marshmallow sandwiches. Allison waits in line for the bathroom instead of Rumoring her way through. And Klaus tearfully tells his family all about being tortured, and Dave, and Vietnam. And their siblings don't assume he's lying for attention or roll their eyes. They hold his hand when he holds back tears and tell him to let it out, all as disgusted by their ignorance and lack of concern as Ben was at the time.

And that's when Ben knows. He might've been the one to come back to life, but they all gained a chance to hear their broken hearts start beating again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanted to know the choreography to Klaus's dance in the second flashback, look up Betty Cooper's dance to the song; Number One (I didn't choose the name) in the Riverdale pilot. I found it shockingly easy to imagine Robert Sheehan in her place, but maybe that's just me.
> 
> Now this is my first time writing for this fandom. I won’t be offended with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.


End file.
